Sitting here, I ponder all my daily thoughts,

The love I now strive for and the flesh I once sought.

But why does it overwhelm all that I am?

Every moment that leads up to me becoming a man.

Who am I and where have all these chains come from?

I thought they had been broken, I thought I had won.

My faith was in myself and what I could provide,

In reality my faith was in the demon inside.

Where is the light? Where is anything but pain?

I sitting here trying to convince myself that I’m not insane.

But that hasn’t worked so far and I haven’t much time to spare,

I just hope and pray that there is a God who really cares.

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(Source: fauxxe)

It’s raining now and my drenched cloths hold me down,

like he chains on my soul and waves that cause me to drown.

Who was I to think I knew it all?

I had climbed so high, just to fall.

So much of my time was spent on this world and self gain,

Now as I stare up into the rain, all I feel is each droplet, reminding me of every single pain.

The tares in my heart, the ripped flesh that tore from top to bottom in the storm,

How I wish I could just sit by the fire and get warm.

But I’m out here in this new storm seeking shelter and dry land,

hoping that SOMEONE! ANYONE! will reach out their hand.

Because i’d hold on, I’d never let go,

But there is no one, and I wish it wasn’t so.

Help me! please oh please,

Save me from my rotting flesh, this internal desease.

I brought myself here, to this uncontainable rage,

I wasted my time, when the Truth was written on every single one of those pages.

Why couldn’t I just take it in and embrace the word?

My flesh has won and now rots, being eaten by birds.

I had no foundation, just a skyrocketing high,

that arched and fell, falling from the sky.

I didn’t even crash into the ocean or a lake,

My well was so dry, a desert and full of mistakes.

I wandered, more like limped searching for water to quench my thirsty tongue,

My throat was so dry and no song could be sung.

I had nothing left for moisture, my tears where even dry,

I wept, but I couldn’t even cry.

Out of desperation I grabbed that leather bound book that I had pushed away for so long,

The one I had shoved aside, right before everything went wrong.

I cracked it open and the dust fell from the cover,

Some storm clouds formed as I read about a long lost lover.

One who had left his fathers house and had gone astray,

taken his fortune and tried to go his own way.

At first he experienced pure joy and bliss,

but found himself in with the pigs and his father he missed.

At this point it began to rain and I knew this man was me,

I took that book and continued to read until I was free.

I could now cry again and felt the comfort of water to my soul,

The storm had come and could not be controlled.

Just one chapter and my dying body had been given new life,

the pain was gone and there was no more strife.